A permie road trip: lessons in diversity

It was a lovely Saturday when three country permies decided to venture beyond the edge and head off in the direction of the big city.

After deciding which vehicle would be easiest on our sacred environment, they moved all the climbing gear, granola, and a ukulele from the middle seat into the back along with the bike and snowshoes.

They were ready to burst into a rousing rendition of “Children of the Earth Tribe” so moved were they by the changing scenery and glimpses of newborn calves along the way.
Only after realizing the uke was in the way back and being mindful of the safety provided by mandatory seatbelts, it was decided by consensus to forego the music for now and revisit the directions.

Hope (the aptly named GPS) was secured to her place of honor on the windshield, while the others busied themselves by checking various tools of navigation on cell phones, laptops and Ipads.

“Here….I’ve also got a printed version on recycled paper”

“Remind me to take it with me if you don’t need it after the trip. I’m sheet mulching next weekend. Are there any colored dyes on it?”

The permies flashed peace signs and blew kisses to the children in the passing Westphalia as they headed onto the highway. They settled in to the rhythmic Om of mother earth as the Subaru ambled along.

“Holy Shit!!! Look at all the traffic!”

“Speed up! Speed up! They’ll blow us off the road at the rate they’re driving!”

“Don’t these assholes know we’ve passed peak oil for the love of God? Why do they have to go so fast?”

“That reminds me; I just finished reading…..LOOK OUT! A black car with tinted windows….CHANGE LANES!’

Just then Hope chimed in “re-calculating”……

“We missed our turn….we’ll be lost now for sure”

A voice came from the back seat…”Let me check my phone…I’ve got mapquest……oh, oh….battery’s getting low. We should get to a coffee shop so I can recharge.”

“See if you can find a Starbucks on that thing”

“Here….turn left. Says there’s coffee shop in 3 blocks”

“Dang, I can’t turn left. It’s one way…”

“That’s why I never come to the city…..every other block is ONE way…..”

“Maybe if we go an extra block….”

“Yea, good idea…here we go”

“I SEE IT!!!!”

“Hey look….there’s a parking space. I don’t see any meters though”

“How primitive”

“Do you think the Subaru will be safe in this neighborhood?”

“I bet that guy smoking out in front is the owner.”

…he shot the permies a suspicious look as they came his way…..he followed them into the shop…

“I’ll have a double shot, skinny latte, with extra foam”

“A chai please”

“Apple and ginger juice for me’

One of the permies offered to treat in thanks of their safe arrival.

“9 dollars and 38 cents” said the smoker. “What’s that?”

“Oh sorry,……you don’t take Gaians here?”

As the permies settled in and recharged and dreamt of the day when all such devises would be solar powered, they felt oddly at ease….

“This is a really nice coffee shop….and look! There’s a medicinal marijuana dispensary just across the street.”

They came to an agreement through concensus that the city probably wasn’t that bad after all and took a collective deep cleansing breath together………

*Most of the circumstances in this fable have been altered to exude humor and irony!